Here's a little secret... I wear lipstick to bed. Yep, it's true. Just ask my children. Why ask my children? Because they don't lie about their parent's strange habits. LOL. People are often shocked to hear that I am a single mom who wears lingerie under my clothes and puts on beautiful pajamas and lipstick before I go to bed at night. Most of us have a nightly face-washing routine where we throw on sweatpants and toss our hair up in a messy bun. I still find myself doing the latter from time to time when I'm tired and simply don't want to "care" anymore. And that's okay, too. However, there's something about being happy with my reflection when I slip my dress off at the end of the day and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. There's no man to appreciate what's under my clothes, so why can't I appreciate that for myself? Why have I only placed value on someone else seeing me look lovely? I want to SEE myself! When I look in the mirror, I want to hear that quiet voice in the background of my mind say, "Damn, girl, you look gorgeous!" And yes! Yes, I do, my friend! Thank you very much! Waking up in this positive state of thought is so much better then waking up to this all to familiar thought process of... "Damn girl you look like shit... look at those bags under your eyes. You might not as well even get dressed up because it won't matter." Wearing beautiful pajamas to bed and applying lipstick before bed (this lipstick does NOT come off and ruin my pillows, or this wouldn't be fun) gives me the unique opportunity to wake up in the morning and discover that the woman looking back at me in the mirror is still beautiful, even in her messy morning state. She cares... maybe she cares too much, some might say, but I have yet to hear her complain about her lovely colored lips and soft beautiful nightgown in the reflection. I know some of you may be rolling your eyes because the last thing you want to do at the end of a long day is to worry about what you're wearing at home. If that's what serves you, then by all means, serve yourself as much as you want. Giving myself every opportunity to love myself offers me the ability to show up at my best every day, and I never regret it! It's like going to bed with a clean kitchen. It feels so nice to wake up in a sleepy state, wander in to get that first cup of coffee, and be welcomed by cleanliness. We never realize how nice it is until we experience waking up to a dirty kitchen. The same holds true for the experience I'm speaking of when it's time to be at home. No one else is there to see you, but you're there to see yourself in that early morning reflection. If you're happy with the way you look and feel at the end of the day, you'll wake up to the peaceful, pleasant appearance of yourself the next morning, setting the precedent that you matter—not only out and about in front of people during the day but also when no one is looking but you. I love the first episode of "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," where she would go to bed with her hair and makeup still on, then sneak out of bed to wash her face, only to repeat the opposite the next morning. She would sneak out of bed to apply makeup and fix her hair before her husband awoke. I may not have a husband or partner to sneak out of bed for, but I still enjoy seeing myself in the mirror because I put the effort in the night before. Many ladies find it silly when I tell them this. I don't blame them! There might have been a time in my life when I felt the same. However, from experience, I now know that it's a routine I will never give up on, and I am better for it!

🌸💄🔫 Life is an intricate dance of the passions that shape our character. Each day, as I adorn myself in vintage dresses and embrace my feminine aura, I'm weaving a thread of grace into my soul’s tapestry. The soft folds of lace and pastel hues reflect an era where elegance reigned supreme. But then, there is fire. A fire that ignites when I train with firearms; a poignant reminder of my strength and resilience. This facet of me is fierce; an indomitable spirit that demands discipline and focus, as bullets whisper through the air. This too, is a thread in my tapestry - one of power and perseverance. This morning my hair is up in a messy bun, wearing just shorts and a t-shirt, with a cigar delicately perched between my fingers. Here, in this stillness, the world fades away. It’s in these moments that I feel my angels close, whispering ancient wisdoms through the breeze. Two dear friends reminded me today that, in this quiet space, the essence of who I am remains unaltered. My vintage garments, my firearms - they are expressions of my soul, yet not its entirety. Stripped of adornments and the day’s endeavors, the core of who I am remains. As smoke spirals upward, my heart is full knowing that every thread - whether woven through elegance, fortitude, or simple moments of reflection - creates the infinite tapestry that is me. Remember this, too, for yourself. Our tapestries are rich and diverse, and the essence of who we are is constant through the ebb and flow of life's passions and silences. 🕊️💕 #SoulTapestry #EssenceOfBeing

Let us not forget that We, America's women took care of America at it’s darkest hours during WWII We stood united together! Women united! This is not a women’s rights speech. This is a “women lets get right speech!” When we ran America during world war II it was in a spirit of unity. United energy and a united force standing alongside each other. Standing guard on our soil supporting our husbands, brothers, fathers and sons who were countries away. We had their back, and they had America’s back. In that spirit and energy of unity, everything flowed. We lived inspired! That was the era of true sexiness. When the war was over, that spirit of unity lived on! It lived on in our fashion. It lived on in our automobiles and our appliances. Our clothes were sexy, our cars were sexy. Women’s fashion was full and feminine. The vehicles angles flowed unified and solid. To this day we seek out and pay high price for the cars of that era. Even the fashion is in high demand. We seek out the objects of that time in history, but can’t we see that it was not the objects…. It is the energy that those objects embody that we are after. The energy of unity and community. The energy of inspiration and courage. It was the unity that inspired the true sexiness of the 40”s, 50’s, and even the 60’s. We took pride in ourselves! We took pride in our fashion, in our cars, in our families, in our nation. We took pride in what we produced! We cared! We respected ourselves and those around us when we took pride in US.

"The world is a scary place right now," are the words that came out of his mouth as I stood at my front door with my hand holding my half-done hair-do in place. It was a very busy morning, and I was rushing to fix my hair so I could get on with my day when the doorbell rang. Thinking maybe it was a friend of mine coming to say hi, I ran to answer the door, thinking the greeting would take just seconds. Instead, I was greeted by some kind older evangelists traveling door-to-door sharing the gospel and trying to give people hope. I will not lie and say I was super excited to see them when I opened the door. In fact, I was annoyed and straightforward in signaling that I was half-dressed and hoping the hand holding my hair up was a sign enough that I didn't have time for this. But no, "here's your sign" did not work with these kind folks. They were on a mission and not taking no for an answer. I stood for a couple of seconds and let them know that I do possess my own faith. The kind older woman in the duo started to take note of the fact that I was in the middle of fixing my hair when they came knocking, so she was strongly suggesting to her husband that I was good, and they should move on. That's when he said the words that struck me: "The world is a scary place right now, and we just want to give people hope." In that instant, I responded with "I don’t feel like it's a scary place, I think it's exciting!" Startled by my response, he stepped back with a chuckle and said, "You're one of the few, then, who feels that way, so good for you." They wished me a good day, and I did the same, and I rushed back to the bathroom to finish my hair. I thought on that interaction for days. Do I feel fear? You better believe it. But I have learned to keep moving through fear. It may paralyze me momentarily, but never permanently. Do I feel fear about the state of our nation and world…yes, sometimes I do. Then I sit back, look at my life, and with a great deal of gratitude for all I have enjoyed, I acknowledge that “I want to be here!” I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now than here, in this life...at this moment. I have often found myself discontented with my life, thinking if only I had more, I could do more. Yet, the most valuable lesson I continue to learn is that I must find the joy of where I find myself today in order to build toward tomorrow. With contentment comes peace. It comes with accepting that what comes my way today is leading me into a greater tomorrow if I will only “let” it. If I am discontent today with what I have, and life brings me more tomorrow, my discontentment will only be rewarded, and that, my friends, is not how life works.

Where am I going with this? And by "this," I mean quitting my job security and leaping off the cliff to dive headfirst into my dreams, all while a voice inside of me tells me I'm an idiot who's acting like a child. But then there is this other voice - the one that always brings peace - and it says, "Hannah, you've done this before. What you can be, you must be. Go for it, sweet girl!" I was reading an article this morning called "Truth and Consequences" that talks about how our society no longer wants to hear the truth. A man can change his body parts because his mind tells him he is a woman, and no one is allowed to tell him otherwise without consequences. I have nothing against gay individuals - I have many amazing gay friends. I cannot judge their world because I truly do not understand it. So the best thing I can do is love them right where they are at and keep living my life. But the truth is, you are a man in a man's body. Acknowledge that truth and choose to do whatever you choose to do anyways. Just because my children hate public school and believe that it is stupid and a waste of time, it does not mean they get to quit. The government would come after me if my children, at ages 9 and 11, identified as high school graduates who were officially done with school. Yes, that sounds so basic, but that is the basics of truth. Truth is so basic! I finally had to stop reading this "Truth and Consequences" article as it was making me feel sick to my stomach. The world is not a safe place for those who honor the truth. Yes, the truth may be that you feel like a woman trapped in a man's body. So be a woman trapped in a man's body. Change your parts, but don't deny the truth that you were born in a man's body and you decided to be a woman or vice versa. Do not punish and retaliate on those who see that truth as well when it is undeniable. I dress vintage almost every day. Yet that is not my defining role. Those clothes come off, and I am the woman, the body, and the soul I first arrived with. My corsets change my shape by day, but the truth is let out by night. It's undeniable. Children are amazing truth speakers. Anyone who has kids knows the embarrassing moments of their child belting out in public, "Mom, why is that man walking so funny?"

I just bought popcorn from a Boy Scout who came knocking on my door. I had just gotten home from training at the gun range, slipped into my dress, and answered the door. The young boy on my doorstep was visibly surprised by my red high heels and vintage dress. Nonetheless, he did a great job as a popcorn salesman. He sold me and I bought some popcorn with a good old-fashioned handshake. I took note of his strong handshake and was proud to call him a Boy Scout. That experience left me feeling proud that I am supporting a group of young men growing in their masculinity. By way of explanation, I am a traditionalist when it comes to masculine and feminine roles. I want to dress pretty and have a man protect me and give me security. I want to adore a man and serve him, yet I want to build an empire and be a team with men. I can't do it all! I don't want to do it all. At this moment in my life, I am doing it all, but it is not my desire to continue by myself forever. I am raising the best young men I know how to raise as a single woman. I raise my boys to be men of the house. I hope that my feminine energy empowers their masculine energy. I hope to teach them to be strong and kind. I do not believe in "wrestling" with my boys as I do not ever believe in a woman emasculating a young man. I want to raise my boys to honor, protect, and nurture feminine energy. Never do I want them to be emasculated and wounded by an energy that should empower them to be truly masculine, powerful men who can change the world. I honor my sons. At times I get angry with them, but in that space, I also teach them to fight back. I teach them to never cower to a woman's wrath. Instead, I teach them to seek to understand her anger and then guide her back into her feminine nature by asking questions of me like, "What is wrong mom? Why are you so angry?" My answer to them usually is "Mama is tired and stressed out about life right now. I don't know how to do this by myself right now and I need some help from you boys". That honest answer from me is almost always greeted with a hug from my sons and then an act of service that says, "We got your back mom.” That is masculinity and femininity working in harmony. True masculinity can guide and keep a woman in her feminine. Only in her feminine is a woman truly happy and truly powerful. I am a strong woman. I love strong sports - I love strong language - I love strong whiskey…. but in my heart of hearts and in my true nature, I AM a feminine woman always and forever! Masculinity calls forth femininity . . . Femininity calls forth masculinity.

In my short 36 years of life, I have quite the bio to share. I have stories and memories that leave many in disbelief, yet I have the proof. I was raised on a working cattle ranch where I was taught to work hard and given plenty of time and space to imagine and daydream even harder. I would spend hours on the back of a horse, living out the vision I had of myself being a warrior princess. I was homeschooled until the 7th grade, and upon entering school, I fell into the crowd of snowboarders and thrill-seekers. I pursued a career in professional free-skiing and instead found the sport of mountain biking. My extreme passion for free skiing transmuted well to extreme mountain biking. I became the first female to do a backflip on a mountain bike. I used this podium to travel and preach at churches and colleges and make my debut as an inspirational influencer. During my career, I went on to marry another professional athlete and have two bright and handsome sons. Being a wife and mother took precedence over all passions and desires as it was the one thing I was raised to be. A wife and a mother. So, I did a damn good job, and I gave it my all. Shortly after my first son was born, I was left broken-hearted by infidelity and spent the first 6 months of my son's life healing my broken heart and rediscovering my wild spirit that had been suppressed for many years. The healing began by returning to my childhood, which meant climbing back in the saddle. I have since been married and divorced again, started a business, closed a business, walked away from the church, got my real estate license, run a high-risk security company, worked for my brother as his personal assistant, found out I'm a terrible personal assistant, and now I am ready to pursue my heart's desire again of being an Inspirational Influencer. I'm here now, stepping off the cliff of security, free-falling as I build an airplane on the way down. I say all this not to say how AWESOME I am. I say all of this because I realized that all those moments were not my greatest moments. They are simply moments that turned into memories. Sure, they are memories of inspiration and pride. My greatest moment was not when I did my first backflip on a mountain bike. My greatest moment was not preaching to thousands. My greatest moment was not getting married. My greatest moment was not giving birth to my kids. No, no. My greatest moment is right now. The fact I got up here today to give you this speech. I was terrified to do this. Here I am now almost done. I did it! What propelling moment is next?! This is actually my greatest moment. It's the only moment that has mattered. Since I first visited Thrillspeakers, I have been consumed by the underlying drive of my subconscious that this was the next step in accomplishing my dreams. Tomorrow this will be a memory and no longer my greatest moment. The rest of my greatest moments are now also memories that I can glean inspiration and lessons from, but they are no longer the greatest moment but a great memory. Often, we dismiss the smaller moments in our life because there isn't a large crowd or a camera rolling to catch us in the act of something amazing. This moment is just as scary to me as pedaling towards a jump in preparation of pulling a backflip. Fear of failure coursing through your thoughts… "What if I crash? What if I forget what I'm going to say? What if I break a bone? What if they think my speech sucks?" which all truly comes down to one general fear…. "what if I fail?" This moment now is the greatest moment in my life because I have done something that scared the shit out of me yet in it's completion I am that much closer to living my dream of being an inspirational influencer. Your greatest moment awaits you in that next opportunity you can take that propels and compels you to follow the desires of your heart. Those powerful moments are almost always terrifying! Embrace the now and seize your next Greatest Moment!

It's been just over 100 plus workouts, and I have achieved many desires I've had for my body and my fitness. I gained 1 inch around my thighs and put on 3 lbs. of lean muscle throughout my whole body. I'm doing pull-ups again, as well as squatting and deadlifting more weight than I ever have. As all of those accomplishments are amazing and leave me feeling proud of myself, the true victory lies in the achievement of my thought life. My well-conditioned body is not the direct result of my exercise but only a secondary result. The true cause of my success in my physical body exists first in my mind, as always. My body transformed because of my mental purpose, which causes purpose-driven exercise, which then leads to the desired results. I have often placed too much emphasis on the actions being taken as the cause of the effect… when in absolute truth, my thinking is the cause, and the action is the effect of my thinking. "Our bodies are always perfect instruments of our thoughts." As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Accomplishments of our goals begin within and never on the outside. Here's to a daily mental diet and exercise of positive thinking.

If you can't say anything nice, then don't say it at all." This is a statement I have had to use with my kids a lot lately. I really like this simple statement as it’s a great way to curb negative talk. As of late, I have seen the likes of this true statement pop up in areas of our lives that have nothing to do with things we say, but things that we do. Often, I see myself and others not taking action in their lives due to a thought process that says, "If I can't feel good when doing it, I won't do it at all"... In the case of exercise, it goes something like this: "If I can't feel good about working out, then I won't work out at all"… I know I am guilty of this! So many times, I didn't go to the gym in the past because I mentally didn't "feel" like it, or I knew I could only get in 1/4 of my workout due to a time constraint, so I just didn't go at all. It was all or nothing... If that's our mentality, then we will surely have nothing eventually. This mentality has held me back from so many things I've set out to accomplish because I didn't "feel good" anymore or the change wasn't happening fast enough. This last week, I was recovering from a bad upper respiratory cough. I couldn't do any form of exercise or I'd cough so hard it would cause major pain in my chest and head. In my downtime, I truly allowed myself to rest and take care of my physical body. I didn't allow this "downtime" to keep me from bettering my health; I just bettered it from a different angle. Finally, in the last few days, I have been able to get back in the gym. I'm not at my full capacity yet, but how good it feels to work out... even if I don't "feel good" about my workout, it's still better than not working out at all. Sure, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." But if you hear that inner voice talking you out of going to the gym because you can't "feel good" about working out, tell that voice not to say anything at all and get your ass to the gym.

I want to share a success tip with you. As a society we are notorious for not sharing enough information with others that can be useful for attaining personal success. Stick with me through this story and I will share the information that has helped me achieve my current level of fitness. I have had the unique privilege of getting to spend time with a few masters such as The “Horse Whisperer” and my brother Travis. One major thing they all have in common is the desire to share their knowledge, wisdom and experience in hopes it will help others on their journey to success. As I spoke in my earlier post, we all need a hero of intervention sometimes. Many of you know I am a certified personal trainer who went to intense schooling for six months to get my license to personal train. I have loved lifting since high school and it’s been a huge part of my life for years. When I made major changes recently, one of the things I realized is, it was time to relinquish total control of my life because obviously my control was not working. Part of this new life change started with the physical area of my body. I had quit working out for an entire year because I was so burned out and discouraged. My body, mind and will just said, “enough is enough”. But once I made some life changing decisions, the desire to start training again began to awaken. I knew deep down that I MUST change my approach or I'd wind up burned out and quitting my exercise regimen yet again. So I called upon the higher power of a personal training team called Final Move Fitness. I was terrified believe it or not. Me, a certified personal trainer calling upon another personal trainer to take control of my workouts?! What!? Was I insane?! No, but I was really nervous. Relinquishing control is fucking terrifying!!! But I did it. I called the lead trainer and we spoke for a while. I shared my resistance and my fear to giving them control, but I also knew it was the right thing for me to do. I needed to break old patterns and cycles that were taking me to the edge of nowhere. And so. . . it began. I started receiving workouts via a personal app they had me download. With videos of every exercise for that day. It also included a very simple guideline on how many reps and sets I was to do along with my duration of rest between exercises. I was on a work trip to Cincinnati Ohio, when I received my first workout routine from my designated trainer Scott at Final Move Fitness. At first I was very skeptical and wondered what the hell I got myself into. I wanted to quit before I even began. My guts were turning with unease at losing control of MY workouts; but I told myself to give it one month and then I could quit if I was not happy with this crazy idea. I walked out of the locker room and onto the gym floor where I began the first routine. By the end of my workout my legs were on fire and my arms were jello. My heart felt open and alive! My mind found relief as one more burden of control was lifted from its plate. My soul felt utter power and satisfaction in my new exercise routine. Fast forward 4 months into my training with Final Move Fitness, and I am stronger, wiser, and my body feels better than it ever has. I wanted to share this story because I want everyone to have the same success or more success than I. I have not been able to do pull-ups since before I had kids and now as you can see I am doing pull ups again! Like I said, we all need an intervention hero sometimes to reach our desired outcomes. So if you feel it is correct for you, give these guys a call to see if their programs work for you. Every workout comes to the app every week so you don't ever go into the gym lost with what to do. It's right there at the tip of your fingers. You even get a weekly call with your designated trainer to discuss the week, how you are feeling and if you would like to change anything. It is the best thing I have ever done for my body, mind, and my physical fitness! Here's to relinquishing control and setting it all free!

I’ve been writing a lot lately about the struggles of life. Not to cause anyone to feel sorry for me or worry about me. My stories are more to reach out a helping hand as we walk each other home through life. Life is amazing, but sometimes it just gets difficult to navigate. Today as many days lately, I had to recite the phrase “ it is what it is till it isn’t. “ I kept on keeping on and had for the most part an uneventful day of kids, work and the gym. Toward the end of the day I felt myself sinking low in my energy and emotional intelligence. It was very cold and gloomy outside which can always have a subconscious effect on moods. After picking the kids up from school I was then faced with the task of what to make for dinner. Being aware of my gloomy energy, I was also very aware of how unhappy and gloomy many people seemed in the grocery store. They were annoyed at each other and just not in the mood to smile at all. Once I saw this in enough people and realized how gloomy everyone seemed along with the gloomy weather, I realized someone needed to bring some light into this situation with a smile. So in spite of how I “felt”, I smiled. I smiled at all the sad gloomy faces. I smiled because deep down in the core of my soul I am Happy Hannah! At the checkout counter I saw one of my favorite tellers. She’s a precious woman who always greets me with a delightful hug. With a smile on her face she chimed in about having a severe pain in her back that was causing her suffering, but how she was ok because she had “happy pills” to keep the pain at bay. She and I laughed hysterically in our discussion and I noticed how many people around us began to smile at our laughter. One man in particular smiled intensely at our joy as he headed out the door. I ran into that same gentlemen later at a local coffee shop and he commented on how he had enjoyed seeing the teller and I having a good time at the grocery store. When I left the grocery store, I left with a tremendous amount of joy in my heart, fervently reminded that people matter and I love loving my fellow man. Sometimes somebody has to be willing to act against how they may be "feeling" in order to shine a little light on a gloomy day. Smile on!

Emotional intelligence is apparently the ability to understand and control your emotions. I think my emotional intelligence has Alzheimer’s. Often I feel that the emotional intelligence of my children is farrrr more intelligent than my own. What the hell!? At the moment I feel like a child trying to raise children into adults. Something is wrong with thIs picture. . . My Emotional intelligence needs a diaper change and a few naps lately. I know this because I have found myself being corrected by my two young sons on how my attitude needs to change. How can I argue with them when I know deep down they are right. So I accept my 9 year old's scolding and move on to the next room to adjust my attitude alone. Some days I feel I am super mom and my emotional intelligence is my super human power that helps me conquer Life and whatever it may bring my way . Good meals are cooked, quality time with my boys is consistent, my house is clean, I kick ass at my work, and no one can do or say anything that stops my flow. Obviously I am not feeling so "emotionally intelligent" of late. . . But Life in all its states is still an amazing event to observe. Hopefully my emotional intelligence returns to it's cognizant state and I can put back on my 'Super Mom' cape and kick some ass. For now I will take naps and trust the intelligence of my children to keep me in line.